Anger is a problem in many families. One of the ways you can address it is by having some honest and even fun conversations about anger in family life. Here’s an activity that can launch your family into an interesting discussion. Who knows where the interaction will lead you. You might have this discussion around the dinner table or part of an evening devotion time.

Begin with this statement:  Let’s all share some pet peeves that we each have. A pet peeve is something that others do that makes you mad or easily irritated. Other people may not be bothered at all but you have a hard time whenever this thing happens.

One mom said, “Here are some of mine. I don’t like to see towels on the floor in the bathroom or bedrooms. I get angry when I lose my keys, or when the car gas tank is on E after Dad drives it.”

Dad said, “That’s interesting. I didn’t know that was one of your pet peeves. You know, one of mine is when my tools aren’t returned to the toolbox or when you drive my car and don’t put the seat back in place.”

The kids smiled as they saw their parents expressing pet peeves and were able to think of some themselves, borrowed toys, irritating noises or touching, and being interrupted while on the computer.

Then you might talk about being tolerant and thoughtful of each other. This discussion can be very practical and lead to many helpful thoughts and ideas about anger in daily family life.

This parenting tip is taken from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.

For church going folk…it can be a day of receiving their spiritual food for the week and fellowshipping with their like-minded peers.

For families with children, this is often a morning of mayhem and chaos.

I would know. As a mom of four kids who attends church without a spouse, getting ready for church with kids is not always a spiritual endeavor.  Well, I guess it is if you count slamming doors and yelling for items such as a misplaced shoe or my sanity.

After years of practice, I have found these tips to help ease the Sunday morning chaos and develop a morning of somewhat peaceful enjoyment. Follow these simple rules to ensure a chaotic- free Sunday morning which will leave you and your family in a great frame of mind to attend your place of worship.

1. Give your kids a bath the night before church.
2. Pick out your clothes and their clothes the night before and lay them out so they know what they are wearing (and can even dress themselves, if they are old enough). This includes socks, shoes and hair bows. I’m not kidding about the socks. Make sure they match. Boys under the age of fourteen tend to be colorblind.

3. If you allow your kids to color, draw or read at church, have an activity bag ready with all the supplies. Hang it on the doorknob of the door you will be leaving from in the morning.

4. If you have a baby restock the diaper bag the night before church. It’s no fun to have a Baby Blowout Diaper situation and realize you have zero diapers and zero wipes in the bag.
5. Wake up early enough to get everyone ready. It’s tempting to sleep in on Sundays, but make sure you are up early enough to have some “Mommy Time” before waking everyone up.

6. Make an easy breakfast that is fast and clean-up is easy such as cereal, toast, fruit, oatmeal, etc.
7. Make sure everyone has their teeth and hair brushed and that they are all dressed.

8. Make sure everything from the activity bag, diaper bag, purse, Church materials are by the front door and ready to go when you are.

~Jaime Kay Chase

Picture Credit Jaime Chase, ChaseNKids 2005

According to ParentDish.com a survey conducted by the University of Toronto says Moms are among the angriest Americans. Really.

The University of Toronto  surveyed 1,800 Americans and among that group who experience rage were Moms with young children.

Basically those warm and fuzzy feelings  you experienced when your child painted your wall with Vaseline using your $50.00 makeup brush as a paintbrush means you’re weird very Zen.

“Angry feelings are triggered by frustration, pressure and a sense of powerlessness, all of which are part and parcel of raising kids who at times misbehave when we feel desperate for their cooperation, slow us down when we have a long list of things to accomplish, and refuse to be part of the team when we need their cooperation…”

Read more of this article by visiting ParentDish.

  This summer, I’m coaching soccer for two teams. Eden Marie’s team and Eric and Jacob’s team. This means four nights a week, I’m either at a soccer practice or a game.

The first night of Eden Marie’s soccer practice was Wednesday. It was raining, and if you understand the issues I have with my hair, this was not a good thing. Apparently most of the six and seven year old girls have the same issue, because every two seconds they were asking if we were done with soccer, because if I hadn’t noticed…IT WAS RAINING.

My girls soccer team was scattered. There was one little girl who every two minutes would stop whatever it was I was having them do to ask about her soccer jersey. This was cute the first five times, but by the sixth, I was like, “There is no jersey. Elmo ate it.”

The biggest mistake I made was asking the girls what names they wanted on their jersey. I didn’t explain this question meant either their first or last name. So now I have a Princess, Dora, Boots, Hannah Montana and Michelle Obama on my team. When it was Eden Marie’s turn, she looked confused, and said, “Uh, I’d like my own name, please.”

The boys. Ahh…the boys team. Little rougher, little tougher, and a lot more opinionated. And that’s just the parents.

At first, the boys didn’t take me seriously. After five laps up a huge hill and some of them doing push-ups, they started to listen and practice went pretty smoothly.

I was all, “Don’t let this makeup and southern accent fool you, boys. This is soccer practice, not recess.”

I am really proud of that last line. I think I will use it more, because I believe it is a line that could work in most daily situations…or just for fun’s sake:

“Don’t let the makeup and southern accent fool you, I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD.”

“Don’t let the makeup and southern accent fool you, I DON’T PLAY NICE.”

“Don’t let the makeup and southern accent fool you, I KNOW HOW TO DROP KICK.”

I think I may just have T-shirts made up. Hmm…

In other ChaseNKids news…Have you signed up for the ChaseNKids Newsletter yet? What are you waiting for? Email ChaseNKids@aol.com with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line, or just leave a comment to this entry letting me know you want to subscribe. It is that easy.

Late Sunday night, I was awoken by Jacob who threw up on my foot. I don’t understand how my foot seemed like a logical solution for him to vomit instead of, oh I don’t know, THE TOILET? Later that night, Eden Marie, still very much asleep, walked to the kitchen, opened up our brandnew dishwasher, pulled down her underwear and right before we got an extra cleaning agent on our dishes, I carried her to the toilet, shouting, “Don’t pee! Don’t pee!” And once her bottom was on the toilet, I changed my chant to, “Okay to Pee! Okay to Pee! Just don’t pee on me!” (Hey, it rhymed.)

Ian had Jacob duty that night and missed a half day of work on Monday. Monday night was event-less. No vomiting on other family members’ body parts, no peeing in the refrigerator, just a good old fashioned night sleep.

I can’t say the same thing about Tuesday night as it will go down in  history as the worst nights in my parenting life. I went to bed around 10pm. I was awoken by my husband at 1am with him poking me in the ribs. He was telling me Eric was throwing up, but I was still in the land of sleep, which for me is the land of lilacs where fairies are brushing my hair and elves are massaging my feet. His words weren’t registering, so I rolled over to avoid his pointy fingers in my rib cage. I didn’t understand what he was saying. My mind couldn’t make sense of his words. Eric throwing up? Whose Eric? Further more, who are you poking me in the ribs? Where’s my Betsy Wetsy doll? Oh I know! I bet she’s in the dishwasher.

This irritated him so he yelled for me to get up and started to rant about how it was my turn to clean up puke. I sat up and informed him that I do not do puke. This isn’t a new thing. I didn’t just make it up yesterday.  We had it written in our wedding vows. I console, I hold, I even hold hair back from their head when they are puking IN THE TOILET. I do not and cannot clean up puke. When I do… I start puking. It isn’t intentional. I don’t like the fact that my stomach is a wuss. It makes me sad, but it is the truth.

I embrace it and accept it. Sometimes, I even need a hug when I think about this part of me…the weakness I must acknowledge because I cannot clean up puke.

So I told him all of this and said it was hard for me too, but guess what? Life goes on. The bucket and mop are in the downstairs closet. Cleaning products above the stove.

There was some not so friendly sleep-deprived banter going on between us, because we tend to act like children when we are tired. It is just what we do. I went to tend to Eric and Ian cleaned up the puke. Eric and I sat on the couch and I got out the cool wash rags and rubbed his back. Every twenty minutes from 1am till 9am, Eric puked.

Non stop.

At 4am, Eden woke up and threw up on her father.

Lovingly, of course.

She joined Eric and I on the couch.

At 7:30am, Ian started to puke and got a terrible headache. He wasn’t in any condition to help me get the other two kids to school and help hold back hair. So in a zombie like state, I did it. I don’t recall the details, but they came back home reasonably dressed, so I think it was a success.

At 8am, I gave up the notion of sleep and made a pot of coffee in which I guzzled in one sitting.

I had to cancel my 9am appointment, but couldn’t reschedule my 11am. I know I was there. But sadly, I don’t remember much of the meeting. Perhaps I wasn’t even there. I could have just dreamt it.

Which would explain the fairies flying around. 

I’ve spent the morning cleaning and Lysoling the house and praying I don’t get bitten by this stomach bug.

I asked Eden Marie if she was well enough to go to school this morning. She looked around and shrugged,”Yeah, I’ll go to school. There isn’t much else to do around here. No one is puking so I don’t have anything to watch.”