What NOT to do:

• Flash your neighbor when your son opens up the door, ignoring you saying, “DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!”
• Spray Tan when you’ve never been and are given directions by a teenager with a nose ring whose more interested in the mirror than in telling you what you need to do so you don’t look horrific when you step out.
• Cry after you spray tan. Seriously. IT WILL LEAVE STREAKS.
• Tanning after you’ve been sprayed. Because WHAT WILL IT HURT? <note: It Hurts.>
• Did I mention the crying after going spray tanning?

Good Times, People. Good Times.